Advanced Aesthetics, Part 1

Oh, my light-up Virgin Mary, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1) You light up
2) You are a Virigin Mary

This thing is amazing. I went to a show recently that was all like cheapo discount Dollar Store stuff. And walking by a booth, I saw this beauty and had to have her. Her blinking lights called to me from across the aisle (or maybe it was an epileptic fit). Her holographic-like ridges mesmerized me. I was saved. Hallelujah!

And then I asked the man working the booth if he would sell me the sample at the end of the show. Sure no problem. Come by on the last day. But I went by every day. I took my coworkers to look at it and admire its beauty and induce jealousy that I would own it and not them. I would point to it from afar and smile beatifically. Maybe it was Mary's saintly influence. Finally the man working the booth said, Look if you want to pay me now, I'll make sure that you get it at the end of the show. Oh, yes, please, I said. Let me pay for it now. I need to know it's mine. (Or something to that effect.) How much do I owe you? The man working the booth said, Three fifty. In my mind, I did some quick math. Yes, absolutely. Did I have three hundred and fifty dollars to spare? Yes, certainly. Would I hand over three hundred and fifty dollars to have my coveted holographic light up Virgin Mary in my possession? Yes, gladly. The man working the booth looked into my eyes, saw the hamster at work, and said: Three dollars and fifty cents, lady. Of course. That's all it's worth to you, man working the booth. To me it is priceless. And now she is mine.